everything's a lie

2005-12-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

i'll let the two of you ROT in your own so-called HEAVEN!!

it's been a while.. well, there wasn't something to write about, so i didn't write any more nonsense in my blog..

ahehehe..

today is the last day of our classes this year.. xD we had a Christmas party, with the usual "kainan" and exchange gifts..^^ love the tradition..

ahehe..

the only difference this year is that we didn't have The DANCE NIGHT, the most awaited program of the year.. OMG.. it just feels uhhh.. weird.. or feels like something is missing.. the excitement.. the cheers.. the dance steps.. everything was missing.. *sigh* too bad.. it's 'coz the Directress didn't want to have the dance night.. argh!!

instead of having the dance night, the PTA prepared a musical called "ALEX IN WONDERLAND".. we, patricio and i, watched it, and had fun singing the songs.. well, they were familiar.. go the distance (Hercules), at the beginning (Anastasia), the prayer (Charlotte Church), some songs from Hunch Back of Notre Dame, belle (Beauty and the Beast), and some other really familiar songs..^^ oh, i also heard background music from Ragnarok at Cole Mines.. haha!!

after the play, the song, "KUNG WALA KA" by Hale was played.. awww.. and perfect timing!! when i was singing the song and glanced at my right, i saw something.. uhh.. something.. that like.. irritated me.. @_@ and suddenly, i started crying.. over something that i should have already been able to handle..

*sigh*

there came more awkward moments.. and i was trying my best to SMILE, and LAUGH for them not to notice my uneasiness with the two people in sight.. it was at one point when i almost lost my control over my body.. i was about to walk out.. i was about to give up.. i was about to lose myself.. it would've turned out bad if it weren't for the promises that i remembered..

we ate at KFC, iceberg, king korn, and sang at karaoke..^^ it was when i got home that i realized something..

"woohoo!! it's already Christmas vacation!!"

well, over-all, it was a fun day..^^

2005-09-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

let's just say that my misfortune's been paid..

well, today.. i was depressed about something.. the truth is i was really sad when i saw and heard something.. those were words that are just hard to accept and swallow.. i hate feeling this kind of feeling.. when i told myself that i would already move on.. i hate myself for letting my guard down.. and to let such emotions fill me.. an emotion that is commonly known as "jealousy".. i didn't want to feel that way.. but instead, it got worse.. i felt anger and irritation.. and it made me so weak.. *sigh* that was how my morning started..

the happy part?? well, you see.. i have this crush on one of the ROYAL [other 3rd year section] students.. *sigh* and today, i got his cell phone number, he stood beside me, he wrapped his arm 'round my shoulder [akbay] and i was just so happy.. i almost went MAD when i got to the THE room.. haha!! and i let out of the happiness that i felt there.. haha!!

it's been a long time since i felt that way.. haha!! well, actually, i was a bit down the past few days.. and it was because i thought that he knew that i had a crush on him.. and because of that, i thought that he purposely avoids me.. :( huwaa.. well, i guess i was wrong to think that way of him.. haha!!^^

oh well, 'nuff of this mushy stuff.. bye bye!!

2005-09-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

home, love, family..

well, i was absent today, because we picked up my sister from the airport..^^ she arrived today.. haha!!

well, actually, i'd like to think that "FINALLY WE'RE COMPLETE".. you know, the family-thing.. but i guess we can never be complete.. *sigh* it's so sad to think that we got used to this system now.. it's like it was natural for us.. to have one parent at a time..

we waited at the airport for 3 hours.. T_T it was so hot.. because we arrived there at 12noon and we saw my sister at about 3pm.. >.<;; so hot..

well, my sister was thin and kind of fair in complexion.. but now, she gained about 5 kilos.. huwaa.. and she was a little tanned.. 'coz of the heat in rome.. haha!! i was so jealous of her 'coz she got to go to the places that i wanted to go to.. T_T

ughh.. anyways, i'm really happy that she's back..^^ oh yeah, tomorrow's my brother's birthday.. wahaha!!

enough of this.. byerz!!

2005-08-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

i'll kill you.. let's burn TOGETHER in HELL!!

last night, i just confirmed something.. *sigh* i'm really getting tired of those kinds of things.. right now, i don't want to go to school anymore.. the truth is, i wanted to drop ever since this school year started.. but i also wanted to survive in that hell-like place.. *sigh*

well, i would like to drop now, but i made a promise to one of my friends that i wouldn't drop.. damn it.. i shouldn't have made that promise.. you see, i'm not someone who'll break her promise.. i always keep them.. because i hate people who break their promises.. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP A PROMISE, THEN DON'T MAKE ONE!!

the reason for all this?? actually, i was just controlling my anger and hiding it.. i knew that people talked behind my back.. i knew that they were always spreading things about me.. gawds!! even the teachers know about it.. who else can spread it?? of course, the student who know about it.. and who are those who know about it?? MY CLOSE FRIENDS, as i call them.. or NOT!! i was really mad when i knew that the teacher knew about it.. the hell with that!! someone told them.. it's not like they'll just know about it.. whoever that BITCH is, i'll search for a way to make that BITCH feel the way that i do..

i was pushed beyond the borderline when i heard some laughing during MATH TIME maybe 2 or 3 days ago.. they were talking about girls and those stuffs.. but they were talking about a particular girl.. hmm.. who could it be?? they were talking about that girl's legs and lips.. they said they were soft.. hmm.. whose legs?? whose lips?? i had a feeling of whom they were talking about.. but i still kept my cool and just continued to do my work.. they all continued to laugh.. and i heard something..

"kahit new student alam.." [even a new student knows..] a boy said.

damn it..

"siya naman nagkakalat non eh.. di ako.." [it's that person who spreads it, and not me..] the other guy replied.

damn it..

"anong hindi ikaw?? eh pati ikaw eh, sinasabi mo rin.." [what do you mean not you?? you also say those things..] the boy said again.

damn it..

then, i heard more laughing.. shit.. that made me remember of something that the guy [who said, "siya naman nagkakalat non eh.. di ako.."] and i talked about.. he said something about me spreading things 'bout us.. hmm.. it's so annoying..

still, i didn't jump to any conclusion.. i asked 2 people who were included with those laughing people.. and they said it.. i was the one being laughed at.. damn it..

i hate them.. i despise them.. i'm disgusted.. they're so pathetic.. what will they feel if that was done to them?? hmm.. let's see their faces when i humiliate them in front of the whole world..

i hate them.. I HATE THEM!!

2005-08-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

something unexpected happened

my fingernail just died.. arghh!! it's because of JB and that stupid door!! damn it.. my index left finger hurts so much i wanna cut it.. arghh!! >.<;; shit.. one more thing that pisses my off is the mere fact that JB said, "Che!!" to me even though he caused this!! what an insensitive person.. i hate this!! and because of that, i can't do anything with my left index finger.. T_T i really, really hate this.. >.<;; and it's also difficult to take a bath.. difficult to dress.. difficult to undress [this is a big problem] hehe.. ^_~v and difficult to do all sorts of things.. i can't even use my left index finger to type.. damn!!

well, instead of being mad at JB, i just took care of my finger.. besides, i know that he wouldn't apologize to me even if i tell him to.. he's too stubborn.. he doesn't want to admit that it's his fault.. *sigh* anyway, i think that it's getting a bit better now.. >.<;;

oh yeah, exams are finished..^^ yehey!!

2005-08-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

i couldn't help but smile.. damn!!

haha!! we had our SOC STUD recitation yesterday.. and i was so happy because i actually got 5 points.. my gawd.. haha!! i thought that my explanation was wrong.. but, it was right.. yeey!!^^

hmm.. oh yeah, i was late today.. haha!! it's my 1st late, so it's okay..^^ hmm what else?? oh yeah, i also brought the imbotido that i made yesterday.. omigod.. T_T haha!! i can't believe that i really made it.. ^_~v oh well, it's my way to catch up to THE subject.. 'coz i often get a low score on quizzes.. >.<;;

at lunch time, caren and i cooked the imbotido.. shiyet.. it didn't taste like imbotido at all.. haha!! i think it needed atchara to have taste.. T_T oh well.. at least i have grade..^^

hmm what else?? nothin' really happened this day.. haha!! ^_~v

uhmm.. about the marquee?? well, you see, i accidently looked at someone.. i always do that.. i dunno why.. ^_~v that someone then noticed and grabbed a chair, put it in front of me and sat there.. he asked me why i kept on looking at him.. [omigod] haha!! well, with that said, i think he also noticed my ACCIDENTAL LOOKS at him.. >.<;; but honestly, all of those are accidental.. i didn't intend any of it.. but i always look at his direction.. shit.. haha!! well, i didn't answer him, i just couldn't help but smile.. haha!! i couldn't believe that he was also watching me.. ^_~v well, i thought that we wouldn't talk because of something that he said to me.. haha!! and well, i thought that we would completely ignore each other.. O_o;; i just kept on smiling and covered my face with my hands.. haha!!

well, that's that..^^ one more thing..

I HATE THE PERSON WHO TOLD THE TEACHERS ABOUT A VERY CONFIDENTIAL THING!! I HATE YOU!!

KUNG SINO KA MAN, LUMABAS KA!! PAPATAYIN KITA!! MAHIYA KA NAMAN!! PWEDE BA?! AKO, ALAM KO NA GANO'N AKO, PERO SANA NAMAN HINDI NAKAKARATING SA IBA PANG TAO!! SATIN-SATIN LANG!!

actually, may kutob na ko kung sino yun eh.. haha!! ano gusto mo?! sabihin ko lahat ng BAHO mo?!?! GAGO KA PALA EH!! mas marami akong masasabing masasama tungkol sayo!! pero di ko sasabihin kasi magiging katulad mo lang ako!! alam kong alam mo kung sino ka!! at alam mo kung ano ang sinabi mo!!

"i thought you were my friend.. i thought i could trust you.. the HELL with that!!"

2005-08-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

i've been having these weird thoughts lately.. like.. are any of these for real.. or not??

haha!! yeey!! wow.. i'm so happy.. it's coz our CAKE DECORATION went well.. haha!! i can't believe that we pulled it off.. whew!! *sigh of relief* haha!! omigod.. i thought that we wouldn't be able to do it right.. but thankfully, everything went fine.. hehe.. except for the fact that the ready whip that i bought that's worth 200 pesos was a waste.. i didn't even have a taste of it.. hate.. ^_~v but i'm still happy because our cake turned out well..^^ it looks like a little girl's birthday cake.. huwai..^^ so cute.. it has a chocolate milk icing for cover, a writing REYAL [royal+regal], flower marsh mallows, yellow chocolate, and vanilla icing for decorations..^^

hmm.. what else happened today?? nothing much, really.. i was just so happy about our CAKE..^^

oh yeah.. we also made detergent powder at chem.. haha!! we were actually supposed to make dishwashing liquid.. but the ingredients used for it was only brought at lunchtime, so we made the detergent powder instead.. the hell.. the detergent powder's smell was so strong.. arghh!! hehe.. it was hard to breathe at the lab.. but we still have to stay because we need to observe what happens.. ma'am annabelle said that it's an essay included in our periodical exam.. T_T anyways, we were able to finish it.. haha!!^^

bye bye >.<;;

2005-07-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

i hate you so much that i wanna cry..

i wait for the day that i can once more hold you tight.. until then, I can't cry this pain away.. until then, memories are all I have... how i long for one more kiss and just to hold you once again.. how I long to hear you say "our love's eternal, never will I leave from by your side..." i go my way, i journey on, now 'til forever.. with the memory of our last kiss to keep me going.. and though i am alone again, i shed not a tear.. as night skies arrive, the heartache begins for in every dream.. the image of you lingers still.. so I walk alone, sleepless, guided by the moon.. i know i'll give to eternal sleep.. and when that day comes, i'll never again let you go.. i'll pretend that i'm not about to cry.. i'll pretend that these tears are only rain.. as I lie awake at night, listening to this quiet rain.. as I bow my head in prayer, my wish is that this burning emptiness inside would heal... i close my eyes, i turn around, and go on my way.. with the dream that somewhere out there, love, you wait for me, too.. and though i am alone again, i shed not a tear..

chemistry class?? haha!! our group didn't do anything.. our classmates bottled up their wines.. we didn't do it, because ma'am said that our wine didn't ferment well.. haha!! ^_~v so, we'll make another wine on monday.. *sigh* oh yeah, we also ate the REFRIGERATED CAKE that we made ^_~v ahihi.. and ma'am discussed some things about WHY WE THINK OF OUR PARENTS AS THE DEVIL.. you know, because of all the rules and things that are NOT allowed.. well, i don't really think of them as DEVILS, 'coz i'm pretty much independent and we only have 3 rules in this house.. hihi..^^ and those are ¹DON'T DO DRUGS, ²DON'T HAVE VICES and ³SUDY HARD.. haha!!^^ ma'am annabelle also said that we should make an essay on WHAT OUR FIRST RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE.. and if we didn't have past relationship, we should do an essay about WHAT OUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS.. hihi..^^ i don't know what i'll do.. i think i'll do the IDEAL-thingy, 'coz i can't remember my first relationship.. ^_~v or i'll do both.. >.<;;

i don't know why, but this day, i kept on looking at HIS direction.. i don't know why.. but, i think it's coz of the things that ma'am annabelle said about he relationship thingies.. haha!! i was thinking about what she said about RESPECT and HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PARTNER LOVES YOU.. haha!! i don't really know.. and also the thing of being PHYSICAL.. she said that we're too young.. yeah, i know that we're too young.. but still, i think that you just can't resist the urge to be physical, specially if it's with the person that you love.. *sigh* the hell with all this crap.. haha!!

hmm what else?? we also played volleyball.. yihee..^^ okay, 'nuff..

2005-07-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

if i'll be given a change to be with you again, baby i will sacrifice..

^_^ i finally know my score at the BLANK MAP exam.. i mean, long quiz.. haha!! i got 26 or 28 mistakes, i think.. not bad for studying 2 dyas before the quiz.. hihi..^^ eniweiz, i'm still happy that i didn't fail it.. 'coz if i did, i'll definitely STUDY and get back on track next quarter.. haha!! well, it's still the 1st quarter.. i still have plenty of time to catch up with the rest.. i know that i'll not be the TOP 1 or TOP 2, or even TOP 3 of this quarter.. maybe that i'll not be in the TOP 5.. haha!! but i can deal with that.. ^_~v

oh yeah, we made refrigerated cake on THE time today.. yum.. haha!! raquel at sandra's refrigerated cake is so delicious.. i wanna take a bite at that tomorrow.. *whistle* haha!! but seriously, it was so good..^^

okay.. enough of this.. byerz!!

2005-07-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

omigod.. not enough time..

finally!! the WORLD MAP test is finally over!! waa.. but i think that i got a LOW SCORE because i didn't answer all of the items.. haha it's okay.. at least i know that i didn't fail.. ^_^ hihi.. *sigh* and the reason why i didn't answer all of them is because.. because i didn't have enough time.. but well, i can't blame the time, right?? >.<;; besides, i think that i still would've taken the exam even if i'm excepted.. hihi.. ^_~v

what else?? what else?? uhm.. well, nothing really happened anymore.. oh yeah, we didn't have MATH 'coz we borrowed that time to have the BLANK MAP test.. ahihi..^^

okay.. that's enough shit.. byerz!!

2005-07-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

i don't give a damn!!

dunno.. i felt like being a snob today.. the hell i care about what others think.. i don't give a damn on what they think of me.. i was in a bad mood earlier, so anyone who messed with me took a taste of my "TARAYISM".. yeah, even the FORMER person that i loved experienced it.. why should i care about the comments that he said?! he's a MERE classmate to me now.. and as for the others, they're also JUST my classmates.. hell.. even if they die right in front of me, i'll just pass by their dead bodies and show no emotion at all.. after all, they're nothing but my classmates.. people who are with me at school.. not to mention, ANNOYING people.. they don't make an impact in my life.. well yeah, maybe one or two did.. but now, they don't mean a thing to me.. i couldn't care less..

*sigh*

maybe the reason that i was like that at school was because of all the things that i'm supposed to do.. arghhh!! i can't believe this.. so many things to do!! and on social studies subject ALONE!! grrr.. i hate that subject AT ALL!!

1. we have to memorize the WORLD MAP 'coz the test was moved earlier to 07.26 [tuesday]
2. we have to finish the project.. arghh!! it'll also be submitted on tuesday..
3. we have to make a summary of the SONA..

how can i get all of these done?!?! and i still have to memorize EUROPE and AFRICA.. arghh!! damn it all..!!

anyways, i think this is enough.. i know my SO NEGATIVE post is annoying you.. bye bye now.. oh, and for those who got irritated, you'll die someday anyways.. yeah, i know, i WILL TOO.. SOONer than you will.. haha!!

2005-07-20T21:45:00.001-07:00

so many things to do.. so little time..

haha!! haven't updated for a while.. oh well.. at least, here i am now.. haha!!

hmm.. what happened?? nothing really.. it's just that.. well, i have so many things to do.. but i don't think that i don't have enough time to do all of those things.. omigod..

well, one thing is that i need to have this report tomorrow.. and i also need to be an emcee for the program for the korean students.. T_T but.. i don't have my voice.. really.. my voice right now, is like a dwarf's voice.. damn it..

another thing is that, well, i thought that our blank map test was supposed to be on friday, july 29, 2005.. but.. ma'am hilda moved it to july 26.. waa!! and i still haven't memorized a lot of countries yet.. damn it.. >.<;; *sigh*

i still have to finish the assignment for filipino that's due this friday.. and a project on social studies that is due on tuesday.. O_o;; i really have no time.. waa!!

anyways, i just wanted to inform you that.. well, i'm really suffering from this TIME problem.. so i think i won't be able to have a post again.. >.<;;

kei, still need to finish all of those.. bye!!

2005-07-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

so tired.. just wanna sleep.. sleep.. and sleep more

anyways, tomorrow's THE day.. and i'm certainly *NOT* planning to go to school tomorrow.. the hell.. what would i do?? nothing.. and all i want to do right now is sleep, sleep and sleep more.. you see, lately, i was getting just about 2-3 hours sleep a day.. T_T and sometimes, i don't sleep at all.. damn it.. i don't know what's with this body of mine.. it just wants to stay awake and refuses to sleep and rest.. that's also the reason why i always look so tired at school.. believe me, it's not a nice view.. i look like i got a beating or well.. a sex marathon until morning.. damn it.. i also always sleep at school.. i'm always staring at no where.. maybe that's because i lack sleep.. arghh!!

what else?? hmm.. well, nothing interesting really happened.. ehehe.. ^_~v

so, that's it, i guess.. byerz guyz..

2005-07-12T18:31:00.000-07:00

weird.. i thought i really belonged..

well, today?? nothing special really happened.. our classes were actually just up to 11:20am today.. it's cuz of our JUNIORS VARSITY's game at adamson.. haha!! the truth is, i was actually planning to go there and cheer for them.. but something popped up.. it's not really because I HATE the VARSITIES.. but.. i dunno.. i just thought that i would have no one there to be with..

so, that's it.. something's really bothering me.. you see, i dunno how i'm gonna do all the things that i'm supposed to do this week..

1st.. i have to MEMORIZE the WORLD MAP [torture]
2nd.. i have to finish my report about NOLI ME TANGERE
3rd.. i have to finish my PROJECT in FILIPINO
4th.. i have to finish the outfits that our models are gonna wear this friday at THE day

T_T seriously, i dunno how to do all of those.. damn it all.. *sigh*

anyways, i'll try to finish the report and the project today.. hihi.. i just hope i can finish that.. or, i can finish the report and try to memorize 3 continents.. O_o;;

you're asking me what's with the marquee "WEIRD.. I THOUGHT I REALLY BELONGED"?? well, it's cuz i'm quitting MKR.. i got pissed off, y'know.. haha!! and well, i just have no time anymore.. but.. i'm still gonna go there every once in a while.. oh well..

anyways, i still gotta read NOLI ME TANGERE.. bye guyz^^

2005-07-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

yeah.. s'like everything went fine..

today's monmon's birthday!! yahoo.. haha!! i just went to her well, birthday outing.. actually, it's my first time to go with them.. you know, with francoise, aiken, therese, gian, monica a, kiri and monmon.. well, i thought that i would be OP.. haha!! but well, it's not really that bad.. 'coz francoise would tease me every once in a while.. and well, s'ok.. ^_~v the hell.. i think i would just be bored without him around.. yep, i admit it.. he's like a clown minus the red nose, the big shoes, the funny outfit and the little hat with a single small flower on top.. haha!! ^_^

what else?? hmm.. oh yeah, i bought a new mic.. wai.. yehey!! at last.. haha!! i'm also planning on buying a new keyboard, a new mouse and a new mic stand.. i just want to try it out, y'know.. haha!!

no bad news today.. i enjoyed this day very much.. that's why i'm posting today.. bwahaha!!

oh btw, MONMON or MONICA G., happy happy birthday!! ^_^

'nuff said..

2005-07-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

again?!

yahoo!! ^_^ finished it.. like it??

anyways, just wanna greet everyone out there.. hey, leave me a tag, k'??

okay.. gotta go.. still need to memorize the WORLD MAP.. damn it..

>_<;;